A thoughtful, vulnerable memoir about the pain of parenting an addict.
In Connelly’s debut memoir, a mother recounts the trials of supporting her heroin-addicted son.
Addiction wreaks havoc on the life of the addict, but as this memoir shows, it can also wreak havoc on the lives of the addict’s family. Connelly’s son Timothy had been a heroin addict for years, and her efforts to help him tested the limits of her maternal obligation. “My son may not be a corpse, but for most of his life he’s been a drugged-out zombie,” writes Connelly in her introduction. “And for me I have felt as though I am a living corpse as I chase after him, trying to convince him to get help for his addiction. Tim may be addicted to heroin, but in turn I am addicted to making sure he stays alive.” With this memoir, Connelly hopes to provide a resource to other parents whose children are struggling with drug addiction. It includes not only Connelly’s experience with the infrastructure of addiction—schools, rehab, hospitals, jails—but the psychological infrastructure as well. She discusses the dysfunctional family dynamic in which Timothy was raised, colored by his father’s alcoholism and the author’s own mental health issues. Timothy exhibited behavioral problems in school, leading to his expulsion from half a dozen institutions. His problems with the police started soon after and only increased as he got older and committed increasingly serious crimes to feed his habit. Around the same time, Connelly—after realizing her boyfriends always turned out to be drunks—started attending Al-Anon meetings. In addition to Timothy’s drug issues, Connelly also documents her daughter Kerriann’s alcoholism and recovery. In time, a sober Kerriann would prove a necessary pillar for Connelly while she attempted to help Timothy.
Connelly’s prose is simple but affecting, revealing deep wells of frustration and love. Here she describes her ritual interaction with Timothy, knowing the dangerous situations he frequently placed himself in: “I wanted to say hello, get a quick glimpse of his face, tell him that I love him, and ask him to ‘Please take care of my son.’ That was our routine with one another—I always asked him, ‘Please take care of my son.’ He would always answer ‘Yes Mommy; I will take care of your son.’ ” The memoir paints a moving portrait of all parties, one that demonstrates how inevitable addiction can seem when there’s already a family history of substance abuse. Connelly unpacks the shame and guilt she feels around her own culpability in her son’s addiction and describes the balancing act of managing her fears and resentments while still attempting to provide her son with unconditional love. While there are certainly more polished books about the effects of addiction on families, Connelly’s is accessible and full of heart. Those who find themselves in similar straits as the author—a tragically common position given the ongoing opioid crisis—will appreciate her words. Perhaps they can take comfort in the knowledge they aren’t ever wrong for loving their child, no matter how bad things get.
A thoughtful, vulnerable memoir about the pain of parenting an addict.Pub Date: March 7, 2023
ISBN: N/A
Page Count: 219
Publisher: Manuscript
Review Posted Online: Nov. 29, 2022
Review Program: Kirkus Indie
A blissfully vicarious, heartfelt glimpse into the life of a Manhattan burlesque dancer.
A former New York City dancer reflects on her zesty heyday in the 1970s.
Discovered on a Manhattan street in 2020 and introduced on Stanton’s Humans of New York Instagram page, Johnson, then 76, shares her dynamic history as a “fiercely independent” Black burlesque dancer who used the stage name Tanqueray and became a celebrated fixture in midtown adult theaters. “I was the only black girl making white girl money,” she boasts, telling a vibrant story about sex and struggle in a bygone era. Frank and unapologetic, Johnson vividly captures aspects of her former life as a stage seductress shimmying to blues tracks during 18-minute sets or sewing lingerie for plus-sized dancers. Though her work was far from the Broadway shows she dreamed about, it eventually became all about the nightly hustle to simply survive. Her anecdotes are humorous, heartfelt, and supremely captivating, recounted with the passion of a true survivor and the acerbic wit of a weathered, street-wise New Yorker. She shares stories of growing up in an abusive household in Albany in the 1940s, a teenage pregnancy, and prison time for robbery as nonchalantly as she recalls selling rhinestone G-strings to prostitutes to make them sparkle in the headlights of passing cars. Complemented by an array of revealing personal photographs, the narrative alternates between heartfelt nostalgia about the seedier side of Manhattan’s go-go scene and funny quips about her unconventional stage performances. Encounters with a variety of hardworking dancers, drag queens, and pimps, plus an account of the complexities of a first love with a drug-addled hustler, fill out the memoir with personality and candor. With a narrative assist from Stanton, the result is a consistently titillating and often moving story of human struggle as well as an insider glimpse into the days when Times Square was considered the Big Apple’s gloriously unpolished underbelly. The book also includes Yee’s lush watercolor illustrations.
A blissfully vicarious, heartfelt glimpse into the life of a Manhattan burlesque dancer.Pub Date: July 12, 2022
ISBN: 978-1-250-27827-2
Page Count: 192
Publisher: St. Martin's
Review Posted Online: July 27, 2022
A juicy story with some truly crazy moments, yet Anderson's good heart shines through.
The iconic model tells the story of her eventful life.
According to the acknowledgments, this memoir started as "a fifty-page poem and then grew into hundreds of pages of…more poetry." Readers will be glad that Anderson eventually turned to writing prose, since the well-told anecdotes and memorable character sketches are what make it a page-turner. The poetry (more accurately described as italicized notes-to-self with line breaks) remains strewn liberally through the pages, often summarizing the takeaway or the emotional impact of the events described: "I was / and still am / an exceptionally / easy target. / And, / I'm proud of that." This way of expressing herself is part of who she is, formed partly by her passion for Anaïs Nin and other writers; she is a serious maven of literature and the arts. The narrative gets off to a good start with Anderson’s nostalgic memories of her childhood in coastal Vancouver, raised by very young, very wild, and not very competent parents. Here and throughout the book, the author displays a remarkable lack of anger. She has faced abuse and mistreatment of many kinds over the decades, but she touches on the most appalling passages lightly—though not so lightly you don't feel the torment of the media attention on the events leading up to her divorce from Tommy Lee. Her trip to the pages of Playboy, which involved an escape from a violent fiance and sneaking across the border, is one of many jaw-dropping stories. In one interesting passage, Julian Assange's mother counsels Anderson to desexualize her image in order to be taken more seriously as an activist. She decided that “it was too late to turn back now”—that sexy is an inalienable part of who she is. Throughout her account of this kooky, messed-up, enviable, and often thrilling life, her humility (her sons "are true miracles, considering the gene pool") never fails her.
A juicy story with some truly crazy moments, yet Anderson's good heart shines through.Pub Date: Jan. 31, 2023
ISBN: 9780063226562
Page Count: 256
Publisher: Dey Street/HarperCollins
Review Posted Online: Dec. 5, 2022
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Jan. 1, 2023
SEEN & HEARD
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