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When Grief Calls Forth the Healing

A MEMOIR OF LOSING A TWIN

A bit fragmented but may interest twins or those curious about Michael Rockefeller.

Michael Rockefeller’s twin sister describes his death and her healing.

In late 1961, Michael Rockefeller disappeared off the coast of New Guinea. Michael’s father, then Gov. Nelson Rockefeller, and his twin sister, Mary (now Morgan) Rockefeller, joined the search, but he was never found. Two years later, Michael was pronounced legally dead by drowning, but it took decades longer for Rockefeller to accept and grieve her twin’s death. In four roughly chronological parts of her memoir (a reprinted version of a 2012 title), Rockefeller recounts the stages of her “healing journey.” The first two parts, the most cohesive and compelling, describe the events after Michael’s disappearance: Rockefeller’s “numb detachment” from search efforts, her father’s new marriage and, perhaps most tellingly, her mother’s refusal to cry—or to let her cry—over their loss. In this stoic environment, “I closed the door on my grief,” she writes. As good memoirists should, Rockefeller steps beyond herself to raise larger issues: how the women’s movement of the ’60s and ’70s affected her isolation and healing; how psychologists dismissed the power of twinship; whether Rockefeller family dynamics accentuated, even defined, the author’s grief. The third section of the book departs from this style to focus on several days in 1988 when Rockefeller attended a wilderness healing retreat. The intense introspection of these chapters, which include long passages of Rockefeller’s dreams and visions, might frustrate readers intrigued by broader themes in the earlier chapters. Nonetheless, details about how meditation and days alone in nature helped her to finally, symbolically, lay Michael to rest may provide guidance to readers struggling with loss. In the final section, Rockefeller shifts back to more standard memoir style, albeit mixed with psychological theory. She explains the unique qualities of twin bonds and the workings of subconscious imagery, which she now uses in her psychotherapy practice for twinless twins. These last chapters bring welcome (if not perfect) resolution to the author’s journey—and add a touch of self-help for readers still finding their ways.

A bit fragmented but may interest twins or those curious about Michael Rockefeller.

Pub Date: April 29, 2014

ISBN: 978-1497652088

Page Count: 236

Publisher: Open Road Media

Review Posted Online: May 2, 2014

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TANQUERAY

A blissfully vicarious, heartfelt glimpse into the life of a Manhattan burlesque dancer.

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A former New York City dancer reflects on her zesty heyday in the 1970s.

Discovered on a Manhattan street in 2020 and introduced on Stanton’s Humans of New York Instagram page, Johnson, then 76, shares her dynamic history as a “fiercely independent” Black burlesque dancer who used the stage name Tanqueray and became a celebrated fixture in midtown adult theaters. “I was the only black girl making white girl money,” she boasts, telling a vibrant story about sex and struggle in a bygone era. Frank and unapologetic, Johnson vividly captures aspects of her former life as a stage seductress shimmying to blues tracks during 18-minute sets or sewing lingerie for plus-sized dancers. Though her work was far from the Broadway shows she dreamed about, it eventually became all about the nightly hustle to simply survive. Her anecdotes are humorous, heartfelt, and supremely captivating, recounted with the passion of a true survivor and the acerbic wit of a weathered, street-wise New Yorker. She shares stories of growing up in an abusive household in Albany in the 1940s, a teenage pregnancy, and prison time for robbery as nonchalantly as she recalls selling rhinestone G-strings to prostitutes to make them sparkle in the headlights of passing cars. Complemented by an array of revealing personal photographs, the narrative alternates between heartfelt nostalgia about the seedier side of Manhattan’s go-go scene and funny quips about her unconventional stage performances. Encounters with a variety of hardworking dancers, drag queens, and pimps, plus an account of the complexities of a first love with a drug-addled hustler, fill out the memoir with personality and candor. With a narrative assist from Stanton, the result is a consistently titillating and often moving story of human struggle as well as an insider glimpse into the days when Times Square was considered the Big Apple’s gloriously unpolished underbelly. The book also includes Yee’s lush watercolor illustrations.

A blissfully vicarious, heartfelt glimpse into the life of a Manhattan burlesque dancer.

Pub Date: July 12, 2022

ISBN: 978-1-250-27827-2

Page Count: 192

Publisher: St. Martin's

Review Posted Online: July 27, 2022

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LOVE, PAMELA

A juicy story with some truly crazy moments, yet Anderson's good heart shines through.

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The iconic model tells the story of her eventful life.

According to the acknowledgments, this memoir started as "a fifty-page poem and then grew into hundreds of pages of…more poetry." Readers will be glad that Anderson eventually turned to writing prose, since the well-told anecdotes and memorable character sketches are what make it a page-turner. The poetry (more accurately described as italicized notes-to-self with line breaks) remains strewn liberally through the pages, often summarizing the takeaway or the emotional impact of the events described: "I was / and still am / an exceptionally / easy target. / And, / I'm proud of that." This way of expressing herself is part of who she is, formed partly by her passion for Anaïs Nin and other writers; she is a serious maven of literature and the arts. The narrative gets off to a good start with Anderson’s nostalgic memories of her childhood in coastal Vancouver, raised by very young, very wild, and not very competent parents. Here and throughout the book, the author displays a remarkable lack of anger. She has faced abuse and mistreatment of many kinds over the decades, but she touches on the most appalling passages lightly—though not so lightly you don't feel the torment of the media attention on the events leading up to her divorce from Tommy Lee. Her trip to the pages of Playboy, which involved an escape from a violent fiance and sneaking across the border, is one of many jaw-dropping stories. In one interesting passage, Julian Assange's mother counsels Anderson to desexualize her image in order to be taken more seriously as an activist. She decided that “it was too late to turn back now”—that sexy is an inalienable part of who she is. Throughout her account of this kooky, messed-up, enviable, and often thrilling life, her humility (her sons "are true miracles, considering the gene pool") never fails her.

A juicy story with some truly crazy moments, yet Anderson's good heart shines through.

Pub Date: Jan. 31, 2023

ISBN: 9780063226562

Page Count: 256

Publisher: Dey Street/HarperCollins

Review Posted Online: Dec. 5, 2022

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Jan. 1, 2023

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