This account of sex and substance abuse pulls no punches as it shocks and enlightens.
This debut memoir follows a gay man’s sexual exploration in front of and behind the movie camera as well as his battle with drug addiction.
Ferris, who was born in 1987, had his first sexual encounter with a high school classmate. This boy became his first crush, too, though the author’s already low self-esteem took a hit when his friend betrayed him. Ferris opted for sex with strangers by the time he was at a San Francisco college and soon moved to porn films, performing under the name Blue Bailey. At the same time, he dove deeply into substance abuse, with meth his drug of choice. Before the author was even 20 years old, a doctor diagnosed him as being HIV-positive. He was the one to console his family over this news; it was not the “death sentence” it once was, and those who were “POZ” like Ferris could still have active sex lives. He continued his adult-film career and gained some fame from one particular 2014 movie: Viral Loads. That was mostly due to its marketing campaign, which failed to clarify that star Blue Bailey, who engaged in sexual acts with HIV-positive performers, was POZ himself. Ferris later enrolled in law school and became an attorney. Even with his porn days behind him, his sex life was energetic and occasionally experimental. Sadly, his meth addiction was a never-ending fight; he’d manage to kick it but then fell back into the drug’s merciless trap. He aspired to be an activist lawyer, and that meant staying sober even when temptations surrounded him.
Ferris’ concise account is an unflinching look at his turbulent life that, as he warns readers, teems with graphically detailed sex scenes. He champions sex—and all the fetishes it entails—between consenting partners as well as normalizing gay sexuality. But the author highlights the downsides as well; using “liquid Viagra” on a movie set incited multiple trips to the emergency room, and one unnerving sexual escapade ended with his arrest for murder. None of this is exploitative, as the book’s 77 “scenes” feel like snapshots of the author’s life. Moreover, Ferris’ conversational narration frames all that he experienced in a stylish but uncompromising fashion: “I slip the needle in, thread my vein, and pull the plunger back. A plume of red. I am registered. I am an octopus inking through the water. Red is my safe word. Red means stop. Now, red means go. I am ready. Go.” The author’s support for the gay community and his “POZ brothers” is uplifting, and he brings to light some critical medical issues involving HIV-positive individuals. Much of the book nevertheless wallows in gloominess. His self-confidence, for example, continually wavered, and his meth addiction caused perpetual misery, sometimes leading to suicidal thoughts. Ferris also brushes past certain people in his life, from his barely mentioned partner, Sean, to his loving and sympathetic extended family. On the other hand, he includes a handful of personal photographs along with a copy of his witness statement after his arrest.
This account of sex and substance abuse pulls no punches as it shocks and enlightens.Pub Date: Oct. 11, 2022
ISBN: 978-0-9913780-7-4
Page Count: 187
Publisher: Unbound Edition Press
Review Posted Online: Oct. 3, 2022
Review Program: Kirkus Indie
A blissfully vicarious, heartfelt glimpse into the life of a Manhattan burlesque dancer.
A former New York City dancer reflects on her zesty heyday in the 1970s.
Discovered on a Manhattan street in 2020 and introduced on Stanton’s Humans of New York Instagram page, Johnson, then 76, shares her dynamic history as a “fiercely independent” Black burlesque dancer who used the stage name Tanqueray and became a celebrated fixture in midtown adult theaters. “I was the only black girl making white girl money,” she boasts, telling a vibrant story about sex and struggle in a bygone era. Frank and unapologetic, Johnson vividly captures aspects of her former life as a stage seductress shimmying to blues tracks during 18-minute sets or sewing lingerie for plus-sized dancers. Though her work was far from the Broadway shows she dreamed about, it eventually became all about the nightly hustle to simply survive. Her anecdotes are humorous, heartfelt, and supremely captivating, recounted with the passion of a true survivor and the acerbic wit of a weathered, street-wise New Yorker. She shares stories of growing up in an abusive household in Albany in the 1940s, a teenage pregnancy, and prison time for robbery as nonchalantly as she recalls selling rhinestone G-strings to prostitutes to make them sparkle in the headlights of passing cars. Complemented by an array of revealing personal photographs, the narrative alternates between heartfelt nostalgia about the seedier side of Manhattan’s go-go scene and funny quips about her unconventional stage performances. Encounters with a variety of hardworking dancers, drag queens, and pimps, plus an account of the complexities of a first love with a drug-addled hustler, fill out the memoir with personality and candor. With a narrative assist from Stanton, the result is a consistently titillating and often moving story of human struggle as well as an insider glimpse into the days when Times Square was considered the Big Apple’s gloriously unpolished underbelly. The book also includes Yee’s lush watercolor illustrations.
A blissfully vicarious, heartfelt glimpse into the life of a Manhattan burlesque dancer.Pub Date: July 12, 2022
ISBN: 978-1-250-27827-2
Page Count: 192
Publisher: St. Martin's
Review Posted Online: July 27, 2022
A juicy story with some truly crazy moments, yet Anderson's good heart shines through.
The iconic model tells the story of her eventful life.
According to the acknowledgments, this memoir started as "a fifty-page poem and then grew into hundreds of pages of…more poetry." Readers will be glad that Anderson eventually turned to writing prose, since the well-told anecdotes and memorable character sketches are what make it a page-turner. The poetry (more accurately described as italicized notes-to-self with line breaks) remains strewn liberally through the pages, often summarizing the takeaway or the emotional impact of the events described: "I was / and still am / an exceptionally / easy target. / And, / I'm proud of that." This way of expressing herself is part of who she is, formed partly by her passion for Anaïs Nin and other writers; she is a serious maven of literature and the arts. The narrative gets off to a good start with Anderson’s nostalgic memories of her childhood in coastal Vancouver, raised by very young, very wild, and not very competent parents. Here and throughout the book, the author displays a remarkable lack of anger. She has faced abuse and mistreatment of many kinds over the decades, but she touches on the most appalling passages lightly—though not so lightly you don't feel the torment of the media attention on the events leading up to her divorce from Tommy Lee. Her trip to the pages of Playboy, which involved an escape from a violent fiance and sneaking across the border, is one of many jaw-dropping stories. In one interesting passage, Julian Assange's mother counsels Anderson to desexualize her image in order to be taken more seriously as an activist. She decided that “it was too late to turn back now”—that sexy is an inalienable part of who she is. Throughout her account of this kooky, messed-up, enviable, and often thrilling life, her humility (her sons "are true miracles, considering the gene pool") never fails her.
A juicy story with some truly crazy moments, yet Anderson's good heart shines through.Pub Date: Jan. 31, 2023
ISBN: 9780063226562
Page Count: 256
Publisher: Dey Street/HarperCollins
Review Posted Online: Dec. 5, 2022
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Jan. 1, 2023
SEEN & HEARD
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