Readers on the lookout for self-development and a deeper loving connection with their partner will find ideas and guidance...
An inviting game plan for achieving loving, lasting relationships.
After exploring the minefields of emotional blunders and personal suffering, Stosny (Soar Above: How to Use the Most Profound Part of Your Brain Under Any Kind of Stress, 2016) insightfully examines the pitfalls and challenges of committed relationships. Applying his expertise as a relationship authority in this affable guide, the author outlines a series of problematic and very realistic scenarios and an accompanying set of solutions. Stosny believes one of the main reasons why relationships are so difficult is because “the biology that brings us together doesn’t keep us together.” However, biology is just one factor among many influencing a relationship’s destiny: fluctuating compassion, trust, focus, energy, and flaring emotions all contribute to the longevity of a partnership. The author reiterates his theory on the “Toddler brain” versus the “Adult brain” and the importance of utilizing the proper organ when making the important everyday choices as well as in matters of love. He navigates through the emotional blind spots and coping mechanisms of relationships in jeopardy and addresses the nuances of blame, criticism, jealousy, and entitlement and how they correlate with the idea of immature “Toddler love” and contribute to love’s demise. In the book’s more relatable and applicable second half, Stosny focuses on how the use of “Power love,” a theory that relationships are based on desire, support, and values rather than emotional needs or fleeting feelings, can cultivate individual growth and nurture synergistic relationship bonds. Readers will garner valuable negotiating strategies, learn interactive exercises (including a “bedroom scoreboard”) to engage more proactively with their partners, and apply practical knowledge on shepherding their own relationships away from destructive behaviors and toward a unifying, durable connection.
Readers on the lookout for self-development and a deeper loving connection with their partner will find ideas and guidance galore in this sensible relationship manual.Pub Date: Jan. 17, 2018
ISBN: 978-0-486-81940-2
Page Count: 240
Publisher: Ixia Press/Dover Publications
Review Posted Online: Dec. 11, 2017
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Jan. 1, 2018
BOOK REVIEW
BOOK REVIEW
Readers unfamiliar with the anecdotal material Greene presents may find interesting avenues to pursue, but they should...
Greene (The 33 Strategies of War, 2007, etc.) believes that genius can be learned if we pay attention and reject social conformity.
The author suggests that our emergence as a species with stereoscopic, frontal vision and sophisticated hand-eye coordination gave us an advantage over earlier humans and primates because it allowed us to contemplate a situation and ponder alternatives for action. This, along with the advantages conferred by mirror neurons, which allow us to intuit what others may be thinking, contributed to our ability to learn, pass on inventions to future generations and improve our problem-solving ability. Throughout most of human history, we were hunter-gatherers, and our brains are engineered accordingly. The author has a jaundiced view of our modern technological society, which, he writes, encourages quick, rash judgments. We fail to spend the time needed to develop thorough mastery of a subject. Greene writes that every human is “born unique,” with specific potential that we can develop if we listen to our inner voice. He offers many interesting but tendentious examples to illustrate his theory, including Einstein, Darwin, Mozart and Temple Grandin. In the case of Darwin, Greene ignores the formative intellectual influences that shaped his thought, including the discovery of geological evolution with which he was familiar before his famous voyage. The author uses Grandin's struggle to overcome autistic social handicaps as a model for the necessity for everyone to create a deceptive social mask.
Readers unfamiliar with the anecdotal material Greene presents may find interesting avenues to pursue, but they should beware of the author's quirky, sometimes misleading brush-stroke characterizations.Pub Date: Nov. 13, 2012
ISBN: 978-0-670-02496-4
Page Count: 320
Publisher: Viking
Review Posted Online: Sept. 12, 2012
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Oct. 1, 2012
BOOK REVIEW
BOOK REVIEW
A highly readable account of how solid research and personal testing of self-help techniques saved a couple's marriage after...
Self-help advice and personal reflections on avoiding spousal fights while raising children.
Before her daughter was born, bestselling author Dunn (Why Is My Mother Getting a Tattoo?: And Other Questions I Wish I Never Had to Ask, 2009, etc.) enjoyed steady work and a happy marriage. However, once she became a mother, there never seemed to be enough time, sleep, and especially help from her husband. Little irritations became monumental obstacles between them, which led to major battles. Consequently, they turned to expensive couples' therapy to help them regain some peace in life. In a combination of memoir and advice that can be found in most couples' therapy self-help books, Dunn provides an inside look at her own vexing issues and the solutions she and her husband used to prevent them from appearing in divorce court. They struggled with age-old battles fought between men and women—e.g., frequency of sex, who does more housework, who should get up with the child in the middle of the night, why women need to have a clean house, why men need more alone time, and many more. What Dunn learned via therapy, talks with other parents, and research was that there is no perfect solution to the many dynamics that surface once couples become parents. But by using time-tested techniques, she and her husband learned to listen, show empathy, and adjust so that their former status as a happy couple could safely and peacefully morph into a happy family. Readers familiar with Dunn's honest and humorous writing will appreciate the behind-the-scenes look at her own semi-messy family life, and those who need guidance through the rough spots can glean advice while being entertained—all without spending lots of money on couples’ therapy.
A highly readable account of how solid research and personal testing of self-help techniques saved a couple's marriage after the birth of their child.Pub Date: March 21, 2017
ISBN: 978-0-316-26710-6
Page Count: 272
Publisher: Little, Brown
Review Posted Online: Jan. 17, 2017
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Feb. 1, 2017
BOOK REVIEW
BOOK REVIEW
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