An inviting game plan for achieving loving, lasting relationships.
After exploring the minefields of emotional blunders and personal suffering, Stosny (Soar Above: How to Use the Most Profound Part of Your Brain Under Any Kind of Stress, 2016) insightfully examines the pitfalls and challenges of committed relationships. Applying his expertise as a relationship authority in this affable guide, the author outlines a series of problematic and very realistic scenarios and an accompanying set of solutions. Stosny believes one of the main reasons why relationships are so difficult is because “the biology that brings us together doesn’t keep us together.” However, biology is just one factor among many influencing a relationship’s destiny: fluctuating compassion, trust, focus, energy, and flaring emotions all contribute to the longevity of a partnership. The author reiterates his theory on the “Toddler brain” versus the “Adult brain” and the importance of utilizing the proper organ when making the important everyday choices as well as in matters of love. He navigates through the emotional blind spots and coping mechanisms of relationships in jeopardy and addresses the nuances of blame, criticism, jealousy, and entitlement and how they correlate with the idea of immature “Toddler love” and contribute to love’s demise. In the book’s more relatable and applicable second half, Stosny focuses on how the use of “Power love,” a theory that relationships are based on desire, support, and values rather than emotional needs or fleeting feelings, can cultivate individual growth and nurture synergistic relationship bonds. Readers will garner valuable negotiating strategies, learn interactive exercises (including a “bedroom scoreboard”) to engage more proactively with their partners, and apply practical knowledge on shepherding their own relationships away from destructive behaviors and toward a unifying, durable connection.
Readers on the lookout for self-development and a deeper loving connection with their partner will find ideas and guidance galore in this sensible relationship manual.