Bold, lucid writing with minor flaws.
Hostetler’s debut memoir about living with bipolar disorder is a sharply recounted journey of self-understanding.
The author was 6 when he first felt overwhelming anxiety. He was extremely shy in kindergarten, and in first grade, he found that he was too afraid to use a public restroom. From a Mennonite background, Hostetler and his six siblings were raised by his mother and stepfather in a cockroach-infested home. Growing older, he found himself too insecure to date girls but outran his nervousness on the football field, where he became the school’s star linebacker in his senior year. Acceptance to Vanderbilt University punctuated his ongoing academic success, but his sophomore year there marked the beginning of his bipolar illness. In his sophomore year, he took a test in which he performed exceptionally well. His reaction to success was “I got lucky.” Rather than celebrate, he spiraled into self-doubt. What followed were periods of depression, which were blown away by “winds of mania.” He began plotting to kill himself, putting a knife to his own throat while he lay in bed. The memoir tells of his therapy and misdiagnosis, attempts to control his illness with various combinations of drugs, and eventual hospitalization. It also describes the impacts bipolar disorder had on his everyday life, including his struggle with relationships, compounded by anhedonia. The memoir moves toward a revelatory moment where the author experiences six months without a bipolar episode and is eager to share this breakthrough to offer hope to others.
Hostetler explains bipolar disorder in nonmedical, evocative terms: “Sunny days and thunderstorms. Energy and exhaustion. Euphoria and melancholia. Bipolar disorder is an illness of two poles: mania and depression. They are the ingredients for committing suicide.” His writing style is smart, spirited, and acutely observant: “Treating bipolar disorder is like buying an umbrella knowing it’s going to rain again and a kite for when the wind blows.” He courageously excavates torturous moments in his life; on one occasion, he renders a suicidal moment as a conversation with death: “Stop! Death, please stop. Tears rolled down my cheeks, but they couldn’t wash him out of my eyes.” The author goes on to offer advice to those facing similar circumstances, often simple but telling statements, such as “bipolar disorder should never be handled alone.” Frequent discussions of various pharmaceuticals and their side effects are interesting but may be of limited use to a wider audience given the “range of uniquely bipolar symptoms that vary from person to person.” A quibble: occasionally, unnecessary, banal details hinder the narrative: “She asked to be my friend on Facebook, and that summer we messaged each other back and forth. Our messages were engaging.” The author also relies on clichés, such as hiding behind a “glass wall” to describe his sense of isolation, whereas a more thorough, detailed unpacking of his emotions would prove more illuminating, particularly since he obviously has the writing chops when he’s trying. This does not detract greatly from the memoir, which offers a lucid account of bipolar experience and contains details of clinics and organizations that specialize in bipolar disorder for those seeking help.
Bold, lucid writing with minor flaws.Pub Date: Dec. 10, 2020
ISBN: 979-8-56-338413-2
Page Count: 224
Publisher: Self
Review Posted Online: Dec. 14, 2020
Review Program: Kirkus Indie
A blissfully vicarious, heartfelt glimpse into the life of a Manhattan burlesque dancer.
A former New York City dancer reflects on her zesty heyday in the 1970s.
Discovered on a Manhattan street in 2020 and introduced on Stanton’s Humans of New York Instagram page, Johnson, then 76, shares her dynamic history as a “fiercely independent” Black burlesque dancer who used the stage name Tanqueray and became a celebrated fixture in midtown adult theaters. “I was the only black girl making white girl money,” she boasts, telling a vibrant story about sex and struggle in a bygone era. Frank and unapologetic, Johnson vividly captures aspects of her former life as a stage seductress shimmying to blues tracks during 18-minute sets or sewing lingerie for plus-sized dancers. Though her work was far from the Broadway shows she dreamed about, it eventually became all about the nightly hustle to simply survive. Her anecdotes are humorous, heartfelt, and supremely captivating, recounted with the passion of a true survivor and the acerbic wit of a weathered, street-wise New Yorker. She shares stories of growing up in an abusive household in Albany in the 1940s, a teenage pregnancy, and prison time for robbery as nonchalantly as she recalls selling rhinestone G-strings to prostitutes to make them sparkle in the headlights of passing cars. Complemented by an array of revealing personal photographs, the narrative alternates between heartfelt nostalgia about the seedier side of Manhattan’s go-go scene and funny quips about her unconventional stage performances. Encounters with a variety of hardworking dancers, drag queens, and pimps, plus an account of the complexities of a first love with a drug-addled hustler, fill out the memoir with personality and candor. With a narrative assist from Stanton, the result is a consistently titillating and often moving story of human struggle as well as an insider glimpse into the days when Times Square was considered the Big Apple’s gloriously unpolished underbelly. The book also includes Yee’s lush watercolor illustrations.
A blissfully vicarious, heartfelt glimpse into the life of a Manhattan burlesque dancer.Pub Date: July 12, 2022
ISBN: 978-1-250-27827-2
Page Count: 192
Publisher: St. Martin's
Review Posted Online: July 27, 2022
A juicy story with some truly crazy moments, yet Anderson's good heart shines through.
The iconic model tells the story of her eventful life.
According to the acknowledgments, this memoir started as "a fifty-page poem and then grew into hundreds of pages of…more poetry." Readers will be glad that Anderson eventually turned to writing prose, since the well-told anecdotes and memorable character sketches are what make it a page-turner. The poetry (more accurately described as italicized notes-to-self with line breaks) remains strewn liberally through the pages, often summarizing the takeaway or the emotional impact of the events described: "I was / and still am / an exceptionally / easy target. / And, / I'm proud of that." This way of expressing herself is part of who she is, formed partly by her passion for Anaïs Nin and other writers; she is a serious maven of literature and the arts. The narrative gets off to a good start with Anderson’s nostalgic memories of her childhood in coastal Vancouver, raised by very young, very wild, and not very competent parents. Here and throughout the book, the author displays a remarkable lack of anger. She has faced abuse and mistreatment of many kinds over the decades, but she touches on the most appalling passages lightly—though not so lightly you don't feel the torment of the media attention on the events leading up to her divorce from Tommy Lee. Her trip to the pages of Playboy, which involved an escape from a violent fiance and sneaking across the border, is one of many jaw-dropping stories. In one interesting passage, Julian Assange's mother counsels Anderson to desexualize her image in order to be taken more seriously as an activist. She decided that “it was too late to turn back now”—that sexy is an inalienable part of who she is. Throughout her account of this kooky, messed-up, enviable, and often thrilling life, her humility (her sons "are true miracles, considering the gene pool") never fails her.
A juicy story with some truly crazy moments, yet Anderson's good heart shines through.Pub Date: Jan. 31, 2023
ISBN: 9780063226562
Page Count: 256
Publisher: Dey Street/HarperCollins
Review Posted Online: Dec. 5, 2022
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Jan. 1, 2023
SEEN & HEARD
© Copyright 2024 Kirkus Media LLC. All Rights Reserved.
Follow
Popular in this Genre
We can’t wait for you to join Kirkus!
It’s free and takes less than 10 seconds!
Already have an account? Log in.
OR
Sign in with GoogleTrouble signing in? Retrieve credentials.
Welcome Back!
OR
Sign in with GoogleTrouble signing in? Retrieve credentials.
bookshelf
