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MY DISAPPEARING MOTHER

A MEMOIR OF MAGIC AND LOSS IN THE COUNTRY OF DEMENTIA

Short but rich observations of a family’s history and traditions.

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Finnamore presents a memoir and biography that she wrote as she was losing her mother to illness.

In 2017, the author returned to her home state of California from North Carolina to be with her mother, Bunny Mathews, who was suffering from dementia. In addition to relying on friends, practicing self-care, and using talk therapy, she used the act of writing to cope with her grief and frustration. Finnamore recorded her mother’s decline, as well as her own thoughts, but she also reflected on her family’s past. Bunny was born in Puerto Rico in 1935, and an aunt in New York City adopted her when she was 2 years old. Her new family moved to Los Angeles in the 1940s, and Bunny went on to live a varied life in California: as a wife twice, as a professional clairvoyant, and as a mother of two children. She enjoyed reading books, wearing Christmas earrings, eating Hostess Ding Dongs, and dancing, although dementia would eventually rob her of these and other memories. Her family kept a “Parade of Faces” of her loved ones in a photo slideshow on a TV screen to try to help Bunny remember those closest to her. Finnamore shares newly found family secrets and long-loved recipes for Puerto Rican foods. She presents this material in short vignettes that aren’t chronological but organized into three sections: “What Was Lost,” “What Was Found,” and “What Remains.” Finnamore uses many metaphors for her mother’s condition, but the dominant one is that dementia is like “the most foreign country I know, the least charted.” When the author interacted with her mother, she had to navigate a place where the rules were neither clear nor consistent. Sometimes Bunny remembered her, and other times she screamed for her to leave. Anyone familiar with this type of disorienting experience will feel Finnamore’s honesty and courage in these pages, and the fact that the stories don’t appear in order reinforces the feeling of how sufferers and caretakers alike lose touch with time.

Short but rich observations of a family’s history and traditions.

Pub Date: Oct. 24, 2023

ISBN: 9798888450154

Page Count: 224

Publisher: Post Hill Press

Review Posted Online: April 25, 2024

Kirkus Reviews Issue: June 15, 2024

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TANQUERAY

A blissfully vicarious, heartfelt glimpse into the life of a Manhattan burlesque dancer.

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A former New York City dancer reflects on her zesty heyday in the 1970s.

Discovered on a Manhattan street in 2020 and introduced on Stanton’s Humans of New York Instagram page, Johnson, then 76, shares her dynamic history as a “fiercely independent” Black burlesque dancer who used the stage name Tanqueray and became a celebrated fixture in midtown adult theaters. “I was the only black girl making white girl money,” she boasts, telling a vibrant story about sex and struggle in a bygone era. Frank and unapologetic, Johnson vividly captures aspects of her former life as a stage seductress shimmying to blues tracks during 18-minute sets or sewing lingerie for plus-sized dancers. Though her work was far from the Broadway shows she dreamed about, it eventually became all about the nightly hustle to simply survive. Her anecdotes are humorous, heartfelt, and supremely captivating, recounted with the passion of a true survivor and the acerbic wit of a weathered, street-wise New Yorker. She shares stories of growing up in an abusive household in Albany in the 1940s, a teenage pregnancy, and prison time for robbery as nonchalantly as she recalls selling rhinestone G-strings to prostitutes to make them sparkle in the headlights of passing cars. Complemented by an array of revealing personal photographs, the narrative alternates between heartfelt nostalgia about the seedier side of Manhattan’s go-go scene and funny quips about her unconventional stage performances. Encounters with a variety of hardworking dancers, drag queens, and pimps, plus an account of the complexities of a first love with a drug-addled hustler, fill out the memoir with personality and candor. With a narrative assist from Stanton, the result is a consistently titillating and often moving story of human struggle as well as an insider glimpse into the days when Times Square was considered the Big Apple’s gloriously unpolished underbelly. The book also includes Yee’s lush watercolor illustrations.

A blissfully vicarious, heartfelt glimpse into the life of a Manhattan burlesque dancer.

Pub Date: July 12, 2022

ISBN: 978-1-250-27827-2

Page Count: 192

Publisher: St. Martin's

Review Posted Online: July 27, 2022

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LOVE, PAMELA

A juicy story with some truly crazy moments, yet Anderson's good heart shines through.

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The iconic model tells the story of her eventful life.

According to the acknowledgments, this memoir started as "a fifty-page poem and then grew into hundreds of pages of…more poetry." Readers will be glad that Anderson eventually turned to writing prose, since the well-told anecdotes and memorable character sketches are what make it a page-turner. The poetry (more accurately described as italicized notes-to-self with line breaks) remains strewn liberally through the pages, often summarizing the takeaway or the emotional impact of the events described: "I was / and still am / an exceptionally / easy target. / And, / I'm proud of that." This way of expressing herself is part of who she is, formed partly by her passion for Anaïs Nin and other writers; she is a serious maven of literature and the arts. The narrative gets off to a good start with Anderson’s nostalgic memories of her childhood in coastal Vancouver, raised by very young, very wild, and not very competent parents. Here and throughout the book, the author displays a remarkable lack of anger. She has faced abuse and mistreatment of many kinds over the decades, but she touches on the most appalling passages lightly—though not so lightly you don't feel the torment of the media attention on the events leading up to her divorce from Tommy Lee. Her trip to the pages of Playboy, which involved an escape from a violent fiance and sneaking across the border, is one of many jaw-dropping stories. In one interesting passage, Julian Assange's mother counsels Anderson to desexualize her image in order to be taken more seriously as an activist. She decided that “it was too late to turn back now”—that sexy is an inalienable part of who she is. Throughout her account of this kooky, messed-up, enviable, and often thrilling life, her humility (her sons "are true miracles, considering the gene pool") never fails her.

A juicy story with some truly crazy moments, yet Anderson's good heart shines through.

Pub Date: Jan. 31, 2023

ISBN: 9780063226562

Page Count: 256

Publisher: Dey Street/HarperCollins

Review Posted Online: Dec. 5, 2022

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Jan. 1, 2023

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